The Internet

I feel really nervous writing this. The Internet is scary. Anyone can read this. I have this secret dream of writing my memoirs when I'm rich and famous one day (oops... not secret anymore) but the thought of people reading it scares the shit out of me. I guess that's why I generally reserve my writing for my diary, or for personal emails. Phwar if those got out I don't know what I'd do. Anyway I digress. I'm about to start writing about things I do at work that I shouldn't be doing, and as I said. Anyone can read this. So I'm going to start with a disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I do heaps of work when I'm at work. The problem is that I'm just too competent. I finish it all in the first few hours and then I'm left with time to kill.

And how I kill said time is what I'm writing about.

Trying to write about.

Moving on...

The Internet provides ridiculous amounts of options for entertainment. News, Facebook, email, research, games... the possibilities really do border on endless. The last few weeks I've been more up to date on the news than I ever have been in my life. Seriously if you want to know anything, and I mean ANYTHING about Ahmedinijad, I'm your woman. UK politics, the NRL finals, obviously anything in Israel... I'm so up to date it's scarey. I never thought I'd say this, but the news is getting boring. Every day I open up Ha'aretz, Sydney Morning Herald, the Guardian, CNN and Al-Jazeera, and nothing surprises me anymore. I'm becoming capable of predicting the news. It's a serious problem.

But that's really just the tip of the iceberg. For any of you who are on Facebook, you should be scared. Really scared. Because I, in recent weeks, have become a proper stalker. I haven't just looked at all of your photos, I could pretty much act them all out. I know what's written on your wall almost off by heart. I know when you're logged in. I steal your friends. And chances are I'm playing Scrabble online with you. The World Traveller IQ Challenge kept me entertained for a few hours there a couple of weeks back, but now it too bores me. So it looks like I'm a Facebook addict, but unfortunately even my newest addiction is starting to bore me. I make an effort not to check my Facebook from the minute I leave work to the minute I arrive again the next day, simply to maximise the amount of time I will be able to waste on it at work.

Probably the longest lasting entertainment I've found on the Internet this week has been the website to stream Nova 96.9. Not only is the music great, nothing beats Aussie humour. I just heard an advertisement for Nova's new site called Bumbook, making fun of Facebook. If that's not the height of intelligent humour I don't know what is. Best bit of this discovery is that when I start getting really desperate for entertainment in the last few hours of the night, Merrick and Rosso's breakfast show comes on (6am Aussie time). Loving it.

Games can also be quite effective in easing the boredom. Scrabble is a current favourite, as previously mentioned. I'm also quite fond of the game I made up last night, which is played over the medium of MSN Messenger, with other people around the office (no names - don't want to incriminate any more people than neccessary). I call it 'The Internet Challenge'. Basically, one person chooses a useless piece of information that the other players have to locate on the internet. First person to get it wins. Examples include 'What year did X team win the X championship', 'What's my mum's birthday', 'What's my old flatmate's name', etc.

Wikipedia is a good one as well. At least it's not completely useless. Over the past few weeks I've learnt a lot, settled a lot of arguements, and earnt a lot of points in The Internet Challenge, thanks to Wikipedia. Here's a list of some (but not all) of the things I've looked up on Wikipedia in the last week:

- Amos Oz (general interest)
- Arizona (work related)
- Big Day Out (general interest)
- Cate Blanchett (settling bets)
- Columbia University (news related)
- Florida (work related)
- I'm Not There (general interest)
- K's Choice (general interest)
- Landmark Education (general interest)
- Linseed (settling bets)
- Maryland (work related)
- MDMA (general interest)
- Michigan (work related)
- Pittsburgh Steelers (internet challenge related)
- Port Douglas (general interest)
- Superbowl (internet challenge related)
- Vegimite (settling bets)
- Washington (work related)
- Western Hemisphere (settling bets)

and this is the killer:

- Wikipedia

That's right. I Wikipedia-ed Wikipedia. I'm really worried that later tonight the situation is gonna get so bad that I'll google Google.

The sad truth is that writing this article has been more entertaining than all of the above put together. I've concentrated, been entertained and even giggled to myself a bit. I think I might have even skipped a ciggie break.

People, you have to help me. Email me. Send me riddles. Something, ANYTHING. Stop me before I google Google. Recommend Youtube videos, new websites. Seriously. Anything.

My boredom is in your hands.

Random observations on a Saturday morning

- One of my flatmates is currently moving out and I think she's stolen some of my wine glasses. And quite possibly my kettle. Looks like a trip to Ikea is looming in my future...

- Nothing I do in my life will possibly be as cool as anything Amos Oz did before he hit puberty. Seriously. Read his 'A Tale of Love and Darkness' and you'll get what I mean.

- Gadera (where my new job is located) is NOT 20 minutes away from Jerusalem. Averaging 1 1/2 hours there, 1 hour back. And it's humid as hell.

- Only in Israel would the security guard outside a trance party ask you to move across the road so the police wouldn't know that the party was still pumping at 5am. Surely the bass thundering through Jerusalem would be more of a tip off...

- Movies are just not as good without the music soundtrack. Can't Hardly Wait is a prime example. I really wish my DVD player didn't have a disease where it just cuts them out.

- I'm pretty sure I had a dream last night that involved trying to smuggle 2 kiwi fruits into Thailand.

- Roadsigns containing the word 'Gezer' are by far the most frequent things to be seen when driving around Emek Ayalon (the Ayalon Valley).

- Getting paid by the hour (and more on weekends) is HEAPS better than getting paid for 40 hours and working 80 every week.

- Wikipedia is my new favourite way to waste time on the internet. Closely followed by facebook of course.